I know, I know……
You want your team to step up, your partner to be more present, your kids to stop rolling their eyes.
Fair call. We all go through these stages.
But let me ask you this…
🪞Are you modelling what you’re asking for?
Yep!!. That one stings a little. However, this is exactly the kind of sting that grows you.
The interesting thing about Self-leadership is that it isn’t just a concept. It’s a mirror. And before we go demanding initiative, respect, presence or accountability from others, we need to check the reflection.
Are you proactive or reactive?
Do you listen without interrupting?
Do you own your mess-ups – or are you someone who pretends that they didn’t happen?
It’s easy to expect high standards from others. But here’s the kicker: your influence starts with congruence. If your words say “I value balance,” but your actions scream “I haven’t rested since 2019,” then you’re sending a mixed message no one’s buying.
Real leadership, at work, home, or in your relationships, starts when your values walk the floor with you, not just hang on your office wall (or fridge).
✨ Want them to be more open? Show your own vulnerability.
✨ Want more initiative? Create safety to make and opportunities to learn from mistakes.
✨ Want more kindness? Let it start with your tone.
So next time you’re frustrated by someone’s behaviour, do the brave thing. Pause and check the mirror. Ask yourself:
“Am I modelling what I’m asking for?”
Because if you’re not, no amount of reminding, nagging or ‘motivating’ will stick.
Want to build congruence into your leadership (and see it ripple into your life)? Let’s talk.