You know what’s funny?
We’ll sit through a meeting, a family dinner, or a one-on-one with someone clearly missing the mark and we say nothing.
Then we go home, vent to our partner or our dog and say, “OMG, they just don’t get it.”
That’s right – they don’t get it……Now let this one sink in – They don’t get it because you didn’t tell them. You missed your chance and now it is bouncing around your thoughts.
Many of us have been raised to believe that saying nothing and silence keeps things calm. Keeps the peace.
You know what – In my experience, and potentially in yours – It doesn’t. Instead, it builds confusion.
And when we avoid saying the thing that needs to be said, we trade short-term comfort for long-term chaos.
At work, that looks like a work colleague repeating the same mistake for the fifth time. Grrrrrr!!
At home, it’s your partner thinking everything’s fine because you said “no worries” when it very much was a worry. Aaarrrrrggggghhhhh!
In friendships, it’s resentment disguised as being “chill.” Hhmmmmmm.
Silence feels safe. I get that, however, it sends the wrong message. It tells people you’re fine when in reality you are seriously frustrated or worse.
And what we know is that the things you don’t talk about don’t disappear. Instead, they grow roots.
💬 Here are some statements you can try rather than silence:
- “Can I give you some feedback that might help next time?”
- “That didn’t land quite right for me. Can we talk about it?”
- “I value this too much to stay quiet about it.”
I want you to think about silence like a slow leak in your tyre. You might still be moving as the air leaks out however eventually; you’re running on empty and wondering why everything feels harder than it should.
My Coaching for you is this: Stop mistaking silence for peace. It’s not keeping you safe – it’s keeping you stuck.
Remind yourself that honesty, when done with care, doesn’t destroy relationships. It deepens them.
✨ If you’re ready to find the words that create connection (not conflict), let’s connect.